🌚 The Rise of Situationship Spirituality


I couldn’t help but wonder — when did our love lives start sounding like a mix of a tarot reading and a therapy meme page?

Somewhere between “he’s just not ready” and “the universe is testing our connection”, we stopped dating and started decoding our trauma through moon phases and badly lit Instagram reels.


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In 2025, no one breaks up anymore.
They just “surrender to divine timing.”
Translation: He’s ghosting you, but politely — with incense burning.

She’s not ignoring you; she’s “in her hermit phase.”
He’s not cheating; he’s “navigating his twin flame confusion.”
And that emotionally unavailable Delhi boy? He’s not toxic — he’s a Scorpio sun, babe. What did you expect, emotional regulation?


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We’re all out here acting like our dating life is a Netflix crossover between Euphoria and Indian Matchmaking 
One minute we’re talking about “vibrations and energy exchange,”
next minute we’re crying over a text that says “seen 2:07 AM.”

It’s not a relationship, it’s a spiritual syllabus:
Phase 1: Manifesting.
Phase 2: Mirroring.
Phase 3: Meltdown.


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Astrology apps are the new Bumble. Tarot decks are the new therapy.
You can’t call it love unless you’ve done at least one “cord cutting ritual” under the full moon in Bandra Fort.

And if you dare to ask, “Where is this going?”
They’ll look deep into your eyes, adjust their chakra beads, and whisper:
“Let’s not define it. Let’s just flow.”
Ah yes, the national anthem of commitment-phobes.


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Every situationship now comes with a birth chart and an excuse:
“He’s not texting because Mercury is in retrograde.”
No, he’s not texting because he’s at Social with someone else.

“She’s distant because Saturn is testing her emotional resilience.”
No, she’s distant because you said “bro” in bed.


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Maybe we’re just scared — of saying we want love, of admitting we’re lonely.
So we dress up our confusion with cosmic jargon and call it healing.
It’s not spirituality, it’s spiritual PR.

We’ve made it fashionable to be unavailable.
Toxicity is now “trauma bonding.”
Gaslighting is “misaligned energy.”
And casual sex with emotional fallout? “A karmic lesson.”


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Look, I love a good tarot spread as much as the next chai-sipping witch,
but maybe the real enlightenment is not blaming the stars for your situationship.

Because the universe isn’t sabotaging your love life —
your taste in people is.

So the next time someone says “I feel a spiritual connection,”
just smile, sip your iced latte, and say:
“Yeah, me too. With my therapist.”

Because at the end of the day,
your Saturn return isn’t ruining your life.
Your standards are. 🌙✨


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Aniket Kumthekar


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