# **From Ayurveda to Ashwagandha Gummies: The Gentrification of Indian Wellness by Delhi Boys with Podcasts**
Once upon a time, your grandmother boiled ashwagandha in milk and forced it down your throat while you cried about the taste. Today, the same herb is sold to you in a neon-colored bottle by a man in an overpriced kurta who has a wellness podcast and thinks turmeric is his personal TED Talk.
Welcome to the **health and wellness industry**, where ancient Indian wisdom is not just repackaged—it's shrink‑wrapped, sugar‑coated, and delivered in a subscription box for ₹1,499/month. Namaste, but make it ✨VC-funded✨.
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## The Ashwagandha Glow-Up Nobody Asked For**
Ashwagandha used to taste like regret and discipline. Now? It's a mango-flavored gummy, "clinically studied," and endorsed by a man who looks like he hasn't had a single bad bowel movement since 2019.
* **Old Ayurveda:** Take it seasonally, according to your dosha, in a ritual of balance.
* **New Wellness:** Take two gummies before bed, preferably while doomscrolling, and post a story saying *“self-care mode: ON”*.
Meanwhile, your liver is filing HR complaints because those "natural" gummies also contain enough added sugar to qualify as mithai.
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## Wellness Is the New MLM (But Make It Spiritual)**
The modern wellness industry doesn’t sell health—it sells **hope, hashtags, and Himalayan pink salt**.
* **"Detox tea":** Congratulations, you just bought laxatives in a cuter package.
* **"Activated charcoal smoothies":** The only thing they activate is your credit card debt.
* **"Ayurvedic energy drops":** You mean chyawanprash with better PR?
Wellness today is less about healing and more about **selling identity**. If you don't post your adaptogen latte, did you even reduce your cortisol?
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## Delhi Boys with Podcasts: The Gatekeepers of ‘Ancient Wisdom’**
Somewhere in Hauz Khas, there's a boy named Arjun who discovered Ayurveda last week and now hosts a podcast called *"Vedic Vibes with Arjun"*.
Episode 1: *"Why Ashwagandha is Basically Nature’s Xanax"*
Episode 2: *"How My Prakriti is Basically CEO Energy"*
Episode 3: Sponsored by a gummy brand run by his VC friend.
They speak about **“ancient rituals”** while sipping imported oat milk because cow's milk is “too colonial.” The irony is doing kapalbhati.
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## The Price of "Authenticity"**
Here’s the biggest scam: the wellness industry takes a ₹30 herb from your local Ayurvedic shop, puts it in minimalist packaging, adds a Sanskrit word or two, and suddenly it's ₹2,999 because "global quality standards."
Spoiler: **Your dadi was the original influencer.**
She didn’t need adaptogen marketing funnels. She gave you tulsi tea because you coughed, not because it had a hashtag.
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## The Actual Wellness Nobody Can Sell You**
Here’s the thing Big Wellness doesn’t want you to know:
* Sleep is free.
* Walking in the sun is free.
* Drinking water is free.
* Not listening to a Delhi boy with a podcast is the biggest detox of all.
No matter how many gummies you eat, if your diet is stress and your lifestyle is chaos, all you're buying is very expensive urine.
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## Namaste, But Read the Label**
So yes, buy your ashwagandha gummies if they make you happy. Post them if they make your Instagram look curated. But don’t mistake marketing for medicine.
Because the truth is, real Ayurveda isn’t sexy. It doesn’t fit in a 30-second reel. It’s bitter, inconvenient, and doesn’t come with an affiliate link.
And if someone tries to sell you "Vedic detox crystals"?
Block them. Then go drink some water. Your grandmother would be proud.
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π **Bottom line:** Wellness used to be about balance. Now it's just capitalism in saffron packaging.
And if you ever get lost, remember:
When in doubt, ask yourself—
*"Would my dadi put this in my mouth, or would she slap me for wasting money?"*
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Aniket Kumthekar
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